being highly kylie

So here's the kooky me, fulfilling my trolley sitting dreams at 21 years old. Haha 

It's been a week since I turned twenty one and I just thought I'd write a little something - not that I had to write it after a week of turning 21 but I was just too much of a lazy ass to write anything before that - hehe 

Well here I am at 21 - totally fabulous - ok just kidding, here I am at 21, feeling not very much less older or different from when I was 18. Strange isn't it ? How time seems to fly when you're older, and seems to be a forgotten concept when you were younger. People always ask the same question : "why does time fly so fast nowadays ?" - well it doesn't actually, it's just that when we were younger, time was something we never gave any thought to. I truly give thanks to my parents who have showered me with nothing but love despite my rebellion, strong headedness and inflexibility. I must say I wasn't the easiest kid to bring up - I would totally kill my younger self if I had to bring her up. (But then again if understand her difficulties, and why she behaved that way lol)  

Reaching 21, means reaching december, the end of the year. With that said, 2014 hasn't been an easy year - but then again there has never been a year without its ups and downs and such is life - a tumultuous journey. I've had a tough time in school, struggling with self doubt, I haven't had the chance to go for exchange and I've had to let a friendship which meant a lot to me go. 

Well but I do believe that God would have a reason for everything and random people have told me so over and over again, so I'm totally done harping over exchange at this point and I have let it go (: a brand new semester, a brand new year, a brand new start. Here's to even more improvement in what ever I do in school, and here's to more working on whatever I'm good at and improving on my weaknesses rather than beating myself up over whatever I'm bad at. 

Over and over again for months I've asked myself if I was a bad friend for leaving you at your worst. But after hearing from L, I've finally decided to let you go because up till this point, much to my disbelief, you're still lying and you still "don't know what you've done wrong". I think I've made the right decision to let go of this irreparable friendship because I think I deserved better than you going around portraying yourself like an innocent lamb while making Y and I look like complete bitches who ganged up on you. Reflect on yourself and be afraid about people passing judgement over what you have done rather than "what Y and I feel about you".  After hearing that from L, I honestly feel like I shouldn't beat myself up for leaving you because it's really not my fault that things became this way. Acting as if I don't know what's happening and and putting up facades, faking smiles with you. That is not what my definition of friendship is like much less talk about the bond between bestfriends. Your mom has always made this friendship as if it was some kind of unhealthy competition and I honestly have tried to erase everything I know that she's said about me the many years we've been friends, but I don't think that friends are supposed look down on one another and I've had enough. I hope maybe one day you realise what you are doing is wrong and change before you destroy what you still have today. I hope one day you realise Y and I confronted you only because we cared and we couldn't go on living lies anymore because it is the easier option to pretend we didn't know. How many days and weeks we fussed before picking up the guts to want to talk to you about it only to be greatly disapointed by your reaction even before we addressed the issue. P. Thank you for the 7 years of good memories. I don't know if you still come here but goodbye and take care. No more hanging on. 

And from here I will move on ahead to 2015. A brand new year. They often say or so I've heard so many times this past week, enjoy 21, anything after goes downhill. I refuse to believe that. So may my life and the lives of the ones I love only blossom and grow to become better and better as the years pass. How you perceive life is how you will live it. So here's to positivity and appreciation for the little things in life. 

And here's to more beautiful and stronger relationships between me and you- thanks for reading my blog, taking time off to read this teeny tiny weird person's view of life. 

See you soon. Xx 

Photos by: Sweetest Amanda