Today is never too late to be brand new.

I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin' to get it back

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything
And everybody believed in you?

It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent, you're still an innocent

Did some things you can't speak of

But at night you live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you had seen what you know now then

Wasn't it easier in your firefly catchin' days?
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep
Before the monsters caught up to you?

It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32 and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent

Time turns flames to embers, you'll have new Septembers
Everyone of us has messed up too
Minds change like the weather, I hope you remember
Today is never too late to be brand new

Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent, you're still an innocent

Lost your balance on a tightrope
It's never too late to get it back

Photo c: Timmo

“我害怕。我不想再听你的借口了。 我不想我们这样结束。”

“"Good Morning"
“How was your day?”
“Be careful”
“Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe”
“Sweet dreams”
“How are you?”
“I hope you’re feeling better”
“Have a good day today!”
“I miss you”
“Good night”
“Can you come over?”
“Can I come over?”
“Can I see you?”
“Can I call you?”
“You’re beautiful”
“Want something to drink?”
“Watch your step”
“Let’s watch a movie”
“What are you up to?”
“How is your day so far?”
“It will be okay”
“I’m here for you”
“Do you need anything?”
“Are you hungry?”
“I just wanted to hear your voice”
“You just made my day”
…

You don’t have to hear “I Love You” to know that someone does. Listen carefully. People speak from the heart more often than you think.”

“You should not have to rip yourself into pieces to keep others whole.”

 

I'm sorry

When you try to stop yourself from crying and everything comes out from your nose instead.

When you lose all hope and you laugh at every single word that is supposed to matter. When you laugh like it is a big joke that is tearing your insides apart. 

When you reach your hand out to try to help someone who's dangling off the building, only to be slapped in the face by the only hand that is holding on to the building. 

I'm sorry I never saw the signs. I'm sorry I never picked up the phone to ask you how you were. I'm sorry i wasn't worthy for you to spend time to try and help me understand how to help you. I'm sorry I don't understand things from your shoes. 

I'm sorry you never gave me the chance to. 

I'm sorry because I know it's not entirely your fault.   

I can only say I tried. You let me go and the fucking consolation prize was "thanks for trying". 

Tonight I say I give up. I'm done. 

I hope you become stronger, I hope you learn to resolve your problems and not run away from them. I hope you take care of yourself, treasure yourself and learn that you deserve better and I hope you learn what love is. 

But for tonight, I give up and I let you go too. 

今天呢, 我的心好痛。

Mare mare

"The usual" breakfast.

Mr sniffles. 

Poppycakes <3 

Mehmeh club (saddle club) for brunch with the fam bam today. Had a really good time, and I think it was pretty nice to get away from the "city" life we usually live. 

If I had a choice, I would live on some quiet farm - or my dream house would be a pretty little tree house somewhere far away from the noisy. But then if I got murdered nobody would know LOL (morbid thoughts way too early in the morning). 

Who knows what if I miss the convenience of cold storage or the wonderfulness of the occasional retail therapy. That aside, I think it'd be nice to live in the quiet, surrounded by nature in all it's glory. 

A house by the sea would be great too (realize everything I think is ideal is NEARLY impossible here on this tiny island). Death by tsunami. 

Hahaha thinking about how I might die. What an odd ball. 

( don't worry people I'm not tired of living, I'm just over-thinking, because.. I don't know.. My brains pretty active around-now-time ) 

Recurring thoughts

When you keep trying to patch up a hole but no matter what you do the hole cannot be patched up. Should you give up ? 

Photo c: the very incredible vivi

Fierce

Benen jelly. Sky. Chill. 

We've been friends for 2.5 years. That's crazy fast you potato head. 

Food for the soul

I feel whole again. 

I think while school is a good opportunity to learn and enrich yourself, it kind of slowly sucks out your soul little by little without you realising that it is happening.

Since the semester has ended, i've had the opportunity to just catch up on sleep, I am allowed to have no plans for the day, wake up late (and by late I mean late.)

Its actually nice to go to work (earn more money so i can breathe alitle easier) and have lunch on my own or with my colleagues. Haven't felt this stress-less in ages, and it feels good. I have time to work on personal projects, improve my adobe skills, work on music, cook my own food ( but i may actually lose weight because i wake up so late i generally only eat one meal a day- happens every holiday LOL ). well if anything, i have more time to observe the sky too. I think I exaggerate a little when i say i have never felt so great but in all honesty yes. ( highly possibly could be attributed to the extremely stressful past semester- No idea).

So anyway everyones flying away even if its just for like 2 days or so but i'm just like stuck here. Well so i've decided to just head out and have my own solo - adventure (getaway from singapore in singapore ) because all my usual adventure buddies are overseas. haha i've actually made myself quite excited to go out and see stuff and i don't think i'm actually worried to be alone because alone can be pretty good, pretty chill, OTOT. (Born a loner - don't know if that's a bad thing) 

exploring ! here i comeeeeeeeeee.

Momsicles

Holidays

Haven't been blogging lately not because I haven't been up to anything, but more like because I've been lazy to blog ? 

This is kinda bad but I think blogging was like one of the methods of procrastination  before I started on any project (tee hee) 

Okay not like I'm not currently working on any projects either just that those are personal projects so there's no need to procrastinate. 

But here's a checklist of what I need to do by this holiday : 

1) project 365

2) upload stuff on my cargo collective 

3) find some way to print patterns on fabric 

4) catch up on birthday gifts 

Farewell

It's so hard to see people go, I think I'm developing an anxiety. 

But here's wishing Dave an awesome life ahead of him. Don't know when we'll see one another physically again, but I do hope it's soon. 

Feels great to stay at home, own time own target. 

Why is everyone going overseas but there's no one to go overseas with me #frustrated very very frustrated 

I wish you would be truthful. 

I need a getaway. Need a getaway. 

Felt great to talk to Mish today. 

How my week has been

(Jon will kill me if he knows) 

Lazy to edit. 

People come and people go. People come and go. They come and go. They go.

I think

I think we are growing up too fast. I am afraid. 

The people that I've spent the past week with. Every single one of them, means a lot to me and I can say I love them with all my heart. 

I love how we can sit down somewhere, anywhere in each other's silence in each other's calm and not do anything. How we can relax and be ourselves. How we playfully annoy one another. How we lean on one another causally. How I forget the world when I'm with them. And how I lose myself. 

Recently we've been hanging out so much more and once we part I feel like I miss them so incredibly much. I don't know why. 

And I pray with all my heart that age or time will not take us apart.