My 'chariot'

Daesung^ 

First time I've ever received such a pretty bouquet !!

It was a buttcrack.. How can you not take a pic with a butt crack. 

My first time inside the flower dome at gardens by the bay ! Easily amused so I was pretty entertained (: but I must say it's also quite weird inside - random peacocks and elephants with strange plants. 

Dining under ballz. 

It was a good experience and an honour to be mong's date (: I've never seen him more sharply dressed in all the years we've known each other - apart from social night. This is the first legit time I've worn heels too - and I was wondring why my legs were aching just now but I realize as I type this - GOOD WORKOUT YAY.  

Thanks for being so chivalrous. I'm so so glad that I can actually be who I am when I'm with you ( as well as the rest of the clique - and that we love each other as we are - and we can say offensive things to each other without worrying about offending each other HAHA ). 

All in all I had a great time! I'm sure the pictures did the talking. 

Catch y'all later. 

Can I be Taylor swift pls.

Not mine. 

Met David for dinner (din tai fung as always) - which he always spoils me because he pays for dinner. But it was really really nice to catch up with him after our last meeting ? Which was pretty long ago. He's grown very much more sweeter and nicer in the last few years- he still teases me but he doesn't fall short in saying nice things as well (not in the patronizing manner of course).

Met up with nori and we decided to meet my secondary school friends ( mongster, Tanya, Tang and Lesden ). We haven't met in awhile and I thought it'd be nice to meet them ( and I've been rather deprived of my daily scoop waffles as well ). I've not laughed so hard in a long time and meeting them instantly turned my pretty crummy day great. I thank God my friends are awesome and are always very open and welcoming towards one another. I really do.

Ended the night with at first a noisy car ride singing our primary school song (for Byron and I ) to our two secondary school songs in the car. We sounded terrible but I honestly loved it. If I could choose a point in my life to return to. I would choose to return to secondary school. 

I honestly didn't want the moment to end, and I just wanted to say that I hope we remain this way always. I pray we always trust and lean on one another, and that we will always be there for one another, never speak ill of one another, remember to turn to one another in times of need as well as help one another in such times. I hope we never grow up in such a way reality changes us to become competitive or jealous and I pray that God bless and watch over every single one of us in this group because they all mean so so much to me. 

One day after but I didn't wish you late. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NORI. 

I know I've said this a million times but it's always good to be grateful. Thank you for being there through the thick and thin, being a listening ear when I needed one, for racking your brains out as best to help me if I ever faced a problem- even for one like getting a cab, and for surprising me with things here and there once in awhile just because you are such a beautiful person with a beautiful personality- kind, forgiving, generous .. The list goes on. Sure maybe you're not perfect, but that doesn't make you a person that isn't beautiful and I really thank God for a blessing such as you in my life. 

Close your eyes, take deep breaths, look to God. 

Everything will be okay. 

Somedays I don't know if I was a bad friend for not sticking with you at your worst or if I was right for leaving behind a toxic friendship filled with lies because I felt I deserved better. 

I know I held out for as long as I did tho. I swear I did. 

Photo c: jonno

So proud of the mongster. 

Growing from a boi boi to a big boi boi hahaha. 

So anyway I didn't get in for exchange..I can't say I'm not disappointed because i was really looking forward to a little change of scenery just for awhile but I'm ok -life pretty much moves on!

It kind of seems like nothing ever seems to go my way. Like ever. So I don't know.. I guess He has other plans for me. I just have to trust. Id just really like for a chance to explore and a chance at a little freedom ( I mean I know everyone will say I will have "freedom" eventually ) but it's definitely not the same. Sorry manda ): I hope you have a great time anyway!! (I'm sure you will)

Really got me thinking. 

Younger daze. 

Hooked up my old iPod nano to discover a mix of music from 2008(?) to 2012. Music that accompanied me on the long nights up doing my o level art, band songs I repetitively played so I could go through my clarinet parts over and over again, music that I listened to while on the long journeys from home to school at woodlands such that when I didn't shuffle I actually still subconsciously remember the order of the songs on the playlist, music that kept out the silence those long nights writing my essays, our music for our cheer routine we mixed by ourselves with much difficulty, the music we played over and over night after night at weekly cheer practices, the songs I played over and over again in order to memorize the lyrics before our performances, the voice recordings of my own covers of popular songs then - someone like you, born this way, etc, voice recordings of my jam seshes with matt, and voice recordings of our band (gawd I really miss our band so much), I even had 40 minute clips of literature lectures I had difficulty paying attention in- mindy Wong and Chitra and their literary jargon. 

Those days were simpler. Much much simpler. 

Well oh well ...

I think if I burned down the GEM office it wouldn't matter because they can't even get their shit together with an office anyway. 

"You never know how deeply you're intertwined with someone untill you try to walk away" 

This is so true on so many levels ranging from the things I've dealt with from the past two years to things from the past two weeks. 

Sorry if my posts are rather depressing at the moment. Optimist ky will be back soon. Just rather deprived of life ( work life balance ) lately. And I've recently come to learn - that although I can actually go without sleep or many days of little to no sleep, after awhile I kind of get rather depressed, perhaps all that time I spend not sleeping I spend thinking even more than I already am, thinking and thinking.

I isolate myself a lot in fear that I would hurt people. That's why people closest to me may feel like I can be so cold. 

Mish once told me that if I was a "material" I would be glass, strong, patient, but when I break, I break. Last week I broke, after continuously rushing back and forth from school to town to work to celebrate my mothers birthday to submit forms to buy materials to complete my assignments. I was 1.5 hours late for work and I couldn't get a cab after running around looking for one for 30 minutes, and I burst into tears by the roadside and I couldn't stop sobbing whilst still looking for a cab, (on the surface I guess it was because I couldn't get a cab, but it was also because I was so stressed I was late for work, and probably a cumulative effect from the mass amount of sleep deficit and stress from working on patterns and installations and whatever else work I had ) I thank God there was no one around because I looked like an utter mess, and I thank God nori was there on whatsapp to talk to me and I thank God soon after there suddenly was a cab which the uncle who seem to at first hesitant whether he wanted to drive me to town decided to take me anyway. And I also thank God the uncle was so nice because I was an idiot and I couldn't pay by nets and I only had $10.70 in my wallet but the cab fare was $11.50 and the uncle graciously let me off ( which made my day alittle better ) - what else could he do you could ask - well he could have ranted and nagged at me ? Or been fussy and insist on taking my particulars and making me pay another time, I don't know.. 

Actually I don't really know what the point of my rambling is and the amount of work in front of me is rather crazy and I have to remind myself to take deep breaths, I don't know why people can work so fast and I somehow work so slowly. But anyway next week will be a better week I think. 

So cheers to an awesome God depending week ahead. 

Seeya later alligators. 

The reality of life is rather terrible.

Photo c: jonno 

This week ends with my at work selfies. HAHA SORRY FOR THE OVERKILL GAIS. 

Level of quality of life: BEYOND POOR

Somebody save me please.