being highly kylie

"You never know how deeply you're intertwined with someone untill you try to walk away" 

This is so true on so many levels ranging from the things I've dealt with from the past two years to things from the past two weeks. 

Sorry if my posts are rather depressing at the moment. Optimist ky will be back soon. Just rather deprived of life ( work life balance ) lately. And I've recently come to learn - that although I can actually go without sleep or many days of little to no sleep, after awhile I kind of get rather depressed, perhaps all that time I spend not sleeping I spend thinking even more than I already am, thinking and thinking.

I isolate myself a lot in fear that I would hurt people. That's why people closest to me may feel like I can be so cold. 

Mish once told me that if I was a "material" I would be glass, strong, patient, but when I break, I break. Last week I broke, after continuously rushing back and forth from school to town to work to celebrate my mothers birthday to submit forms to buy materials to complete my assignments. I was 1.5 hours late for work and I couldn't get a cab after running around looking for one for 30 minutes, and I burst into tears by the roadside and I couldn't stop sobbing whilst still looking for a cab, (on the surface I guess it was because I couldn't get a cab, but it was also because I was so stressed I was late for work, and probably a cumulative effect from the mass amount of sleep deficit and stress from working on patterns and installations and whatever else work I had ) I thank God there was no one around because I looked like an utter mess, and I thank God nori was there on whatsapp to talk to me and I thank God soon after there suddenly was a cab which the uncle who seem to at first hesitant whether he wanted to drive me to town decided to take me anyway. And I also thank God the uncle was so nice because I was an idiot and I couldn't pay by nets and I only had $10.70 in my wallet but the cab fare was $11.50 and the uncle graciously let me off ( which made my day alittle better ) - what else could he do you could ask - well he could have ranted and nagged at me ? Or been fussy and insist on taking my particulars and making me pay another time, I don't know.. 

Actually I don't really know what the point of my rambling is and the amount of work in front of me is rather crazy and I have to remind myself to take deep breaths, I don't know why people can work so fast and I somehow work so slowly. But anyway next week will be a better week I think. 

So cheers to an awesome God depending week ahead. 

Seeya later alligators.