I don't understand.

It's not my fault. It's so hard for me and you don't understand either. And all you can tell me is that you are disappointed. Honestly it's so much easier now for you guys because you can directly cut everything off. But you don't understand that I can't ? And for now I'm just trapped in that little shit hole all alone. When you take your problems from one generation to mine. Do you think I'm having a great time ? If I could I would cut everything I had off rather than just feel disgusted pretending nothing has happened all the time. 

AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS THAT YOURE DISSAPOINTED IN ME. 

You said that I hurt you. But actually you've also hurt me. And it's me and only me that's been hurting all the while alone. You don't have a friendship with her, or us, it's easy for you to say all that when you don't understand. 

Sure, you say you want to understand, you want me to explain, but I can't explain and my minds in a mess, and I never think it will be cleared up. 

And just because I can't explain, you say you're disappointed in me.  

I don't need or deserve this unecesary rubbish in my life. But I'm stuck here, and none of you can help me. I don't know what to do. 

Recess

Snippets of today's sky. Today was a great day. The sky was amazing. Class was great. I'm really happy this semester, true I'm mostly alone for classes, but alone is okay. I enjoy my slow morning walks through hall 2 back to school after Korean class. I enjoy singing my heart out with the rest of the NIE choir. And the professors for every single one of my modules this semester have shown nothing but love and grace towards me. They all all educators whom truly indeed inspire learning. 

Also id like to thank all the friends out there even though most of them probably don't read my blog. Id like to thank them for taking time off their busy lives to help me with a survey/ ask their family memebers with young children to do the survey.

감사함니다!~

Impromptu meet up for dinner with David Sentosa. Had a nice time catching up and playing with his go pro. 

Look hideous here but I think it's hilarious 

Impromptu heart to heart talks and chill sessions till 1am with the tang. I'm going to miss you so much when you move away. Please don't move ): please please. 

In other news, I'm not going to Taiwan for exchange anymore simply because my core modules here are unable to match with the modules they have there. So, I'm going to cross my fingers, pray my GPA is pulled up and not down, and just trust in God's plan and apply for semester two instead. 

In other other news, I just checked today and a Wacom is $175 $$$$$$$$ HALP

Okie dokes time to plan my recess week (: managing my time and staying focused. 

BROKE

IM SO FREAKING BROKE. Idk how haha. I have to live like this till 7 March. HALLP. 

Does not help that dear Hans bacher was like : " it is imperative to get a tablettttttttt." Boom, gonna blow my money on a Wacom. And yes I need buy a lot of other stuff too. Like my PAPERCUTTER. 

Don't want to meet up with people anymore LA. 

School is getting pretty busy but I think I'm managing my time still ok because this week I feel less chiong with everything. 

Met up with the chicas to celebrate will's birthday. And we reenacted the picture from grad day 2 years ago. ( look at us braceless here )

TGITTTTT

Finally after a stressful / tiring week.. I get well deserved rest ! Which in this case does not equate to sleeping - it equates to me doing something I want to do. HAHA 

Stressful and yet I so abundantly see Gods grace this entire week even up to just an hour ago. Reminds me of my favouritr verse : 

Matthew 6:34 over and over. As well as Isaiah 41:10. 

GO LOOK IT UP YOURSELF HAHA. 

To end things off, 

Singing presentation next week and I have a sore throat and yet I am not stopping with eating junk food because i have no idea if it's stress. My love for spicy food is not helping either in case you were wondring. 

Amazing grace.

Past four days of my life I have been stressing about this type assignment about grids and hierarchies. you have no idea how glad and happy I am this is over . 

Yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, feeling unreasonable moody and frowny and tired for no reason at all and it was a pretty hard day to get by. 

Proud of myself today. I know this isn't the best poster or brochure in class and I have a hell lot more to improve on but I did really give it a lot and I did learn a lot in return. I often find myself feeling inferior and afraid for others to see my work - something which I have to change. 

I'm also not the best at using adobe yet but I'm extremely grateful for friends like Jonana, Ray, Law and mer for taking time off to actually look at my work, give me feedback , teach me tips and tricks for Photoshop/indesign/illustrator. 

Not to forget that I honestly honestly have to thank God for his amazing grace because I think type is one of the mods of all time that actually stresses the heck out of me. Initially I didn't want Angeline as my professor - she's extremely strict so I always expect the worst whenever I have consultations with her or when we have crits- but honestly this semester although somewhat just beginning has been of nothing but Grace. A whole lot of Grace from Angeline and from God of course. She has been more than nice and I honestly end every single consultation surprised and with a warm feeling in my heart.

 I was supposed to hand in my poster today but I noticed a printing error right before class and I asked for a chance to reprint- she said it was alright and she even gave me untill tomorrow because I kept saying I would rush out and rush back to hand it in - and she told me not to "kill myself over it" that tomorrow would be okay. Honestly I can't even really express how I feel about this because Angeline is as I mentioned extremely strict and very particular about punctuality. So to actually show such grace toward me is beyond words actually. 

Beautiful daisies from shammo and me getting better at calligraphy after suddenly starting it today. Which is kinda exciting in a nerdy kind of way. 

Finally tried nansuttei and if you think ippudo is even any good nansuttei is like 10 times better or something. trust the ramen loverrr.

Met up with Yu Han to give him a treat for his 21st birthday because he has been an amazing friend who never fails to actually make me feel like a person worth something especially after every birthday.

Thank you for your continuous support whether it is for simple things like reading my blog, loving my sky photographs, my art and my music. Thanks for being my friend even though Im so LADYLIKE AND ELEGANT HAHA. God kinda randomly  brought us closer after a levels - I don't even know how, but I'm glad he did. 

We may not talk often but ya know good friends don't need to talk that often right (: we catch up right where we left off (: 

Fat day with our ramen, chewy junior and java chips (: 

See- he obviously wants to eat my chewy junior also - that piggers. 

 

Don't worry I'm still your friend. Please be my friend even though I posted this picture HAHA. 

I would say this day ended great! Submission over, great food, great company (: 

Days like today I need you God. So overwhelmingly tired. 

MA LIFE

Chiccccaaaas. 

Nyeh : this picture sums up my and wee's friendship. The intense disgust and annoyance we have for each other. HAHAHA. 

Hmm so right now.. In other news in life, my exchange got accepted. HOWEVER, I have no idea whether I will go because of various reasons of which I'm lazy to type out. 

ART ZINE

Our art zine (: 

Breathe

 Two days worth of sky pictures. 

Photo C: Vivien Tan Shi Hui

Up and coming photographer don't play play. Love her so much. She's such an amazing person. Can't tell you how proud I am to be her friend. Show her off like a proud mama. 

Met up with the matrep yesterday. 

And finally met this director today. Nyeh. 

Happy days. 

Short post today because I want to blog but I'm hard pressed for time. 

I'm so busy I feel like dying. Deadlines all kicking in. *screams and runs in circles* 

Trust. Trust in Him I shall. And breathe. For tomorrow will worry about it's own things. 

Stuck like stuck

Stuck stuck stuck. 

Halllp. My brochure grid halllp. 

Haha ok stop procrastinating. Kbye. 

I'm a Happy illustrator

Some process work above. 

Dum de dumm, did an illustration for a teeny meeny card for Godma as a get well soon / birthday card and it turned out really well ! Very happy with it. 

Loving the nip. So glad Han's bacher introduced it to us. 

But I think I could still have had a better choice of colours somehow. 

Probably gonna paint more of these to sell as stickers along with my sky postcards. 

On a side note- 

I also need to fund myself to buy a :

- paper cutter 

- more nips 

- a better quality set of watercolor paints, because I'm using both a cheap one and expensive one at the same one and the quality of the cheap one is really upsetting me. 

- paper corner cutters 

- Wacom tablet pad :( 

Yup ! About 3 hundred and 50 dollars maybe :/