I don't understand.

It's not my fault. It's so hard for me and you don't understand either. And all you can tell me is that you are disappointed. Honestly it's so much easier now for you guys because you can directly cut everything off. But you don't understand that I can't ? And for now I'm just trapped in that little shit hole all alone. When you take your problems from one generation to mine. Do you think I'm having a great time ? If I could I would cut everything I had off rather than just feel disgusted pretending nothing has happened all the time. 

AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS THAT YOURE DISSAPOINTED IN ME. 

You said that I hurt you. But actually you've also hurt me. And it's me and only me that's been hurting all the while alone. You don't have a friendship with her, or us, it's easy for you to say all that when you don't understand. 

Sure, you say you want to understand, you want me to explain, but I can't explain and my minds in a mess, and I never think it will be cleared up. 

And just because I can't explain, you say you're disappointed in me.  

I don't need or deserve this unecesary rubbish in my life. But I'm stuck here, and none of you can help me. I don't know what to do.