Death of Traditions, Traditions of death.

I sat in the void deck -an environment so familiar, a place I walked through all the time for the past twenty years of my life to get to gran’s house- and yet it was so unfamiliar. I was lost, amidst the blankets, the wreaths, the makeshift tables covered with white plastic sheets, peanuts and red paper on plastic plates and the excess lighting in the usually dim void deck.

Relatives clothed in white,

people chanting,

people kneeling,

practices I didn’t understand.

Traditions completely lost in my generation, slowly lost in my parents’, and strongly enforced with my grandparents’.

Blindly following the undertaker’s instructions, disconnected form “tradition”. None of us really knew what we were doing, what it meant and what it was for.

I wonder if one day, when it comes to the day of my own death, if all traces of such traditions of death would be lost.

This February, it would be exactly a year since gran has left. It is strange, but her death felt surreal, and part of me has not quite digested the idea that she is no longer here.

Gran will always be fondly remembered as a beautiful strong lady who raised eleven children on her own. She was one who never forgot any of our birthdays. She had the cupboard in the kitchen she would fill with goodies. She knew what each and every one of her 19 grandchildren loved, and going to her house always meant good home cooked food taking home our favourite candy. I remember Christmas, no one was left out, and all received snacks and toys beautifully wrapped up for Christmas.

Gran may not be here anymore. But she will always live in my heart.

I share this love hate relationship with grandma. There has been a lot of pain she has caused and yet a lot of pain she has endured, and of course love she has given to me. 

This article is actually written for the art zine (15 spreads or thirty pages) in which we are only actually given two weeks to complete - considering how Chinese New Year is in the middle, it's actually pretty crazy. 

Working with D and SY has been great, they are really really intelligent - which stressed the heck out of me sometimes- but we somehow managed to present nostalgia, tradition and future in the context of death- hence a very timely tiny memorial for gran's coming death anniversary.