저 는 朋友 is an occifer (;

The gentleman hehe. Thank you for treating me like a princess. It was an honour to be your date for social night (even though you said it was your honour because I saved your butt from extra duty).

I have never been prouder of you and seen you so smartly dressed :D

 Hotel Wing ~ platoon 2 (???) 

Chace and tricia 

My when's the food coming face (lol) 

Tricia ! A newly made friend. 

Hahah guess who I bumped into at social night .

Social night should be renamed socially awkward night. Because it really is beyond awkward hahaha. But I enjoyed Marcus' company and I guess this is an opportunity to increase my Eq skills. Made some friends with random girls. 

Got presented with a magic rose the appeared out if "thin air" when the lights turned off and on again. Food wasn't too bad. 

The safti camp is actually very very nice but sadly also not nice because that's where all of them book in to as well as get screwed over by their instructors all the time. 

All in all I had a good time and it's probably something that will be kept in my memory (if possible) forever. 

Also I went for Social night without sleep HAHAHAHA because I had submission on that day as well. 

My end product didn't turn out the way I wanted it. But then I tried my best .. So .. Sigh. 

Candice is really the sweetest and best prof ever. Love her (: 

Alright gon crash .. 8 hours of sleep in like 72 hours is crazy. Had a slight headache today before work and I'm still coughing like shit. Like once there's a trigger I can't stop. Dammit 

One Down one more to go

Photo c: Tim Goh

Struggle

Throat hurts but yet I want I sing and eat ice cream. How ??? Hahaha

Nothing much to say today but I had a good day. 

안영하새요~

Korean presentation today. Think I mega screwed it ? But I just pray I pass and I'm gonna SU it. 

In the dark playground once again. Lots to do but kinda don't want to do it but I have to do it so I'm lingering in the inbetween and being unproductive. 

Feeling sick physically and fighting hard to keep on keeping on. So hard sometimes when you see people who are so good and you just feel like you suck. But that being said, I think it's important to keep in mind that those people who are So good also worked really hard to get where they are. They have fought their own battles, they've been where I am and they fight new ones. I am strong and I have to be strong. 

Another welfare pack from SPAM.Thanks a bajillion for taking the effort to put this together and write a letter and deliver it even though you're also super busy and working hard to prep for finals.

So glad I don't have to go to work tomorrow. 

Self doubt.

Choir mod is officially over !!!! 

Gonna miss my quartet a lot. Screwed up quite abit here and there, but we worked really really hard for this. So I'm just really leaving it to God. 

So I skipped Angeline's class yesterday because I had nothing at all to show her for consultation and I asked to see her today instead. As I have mentioned over this semester, she has been very very very gracious. Even about my unexplained absence yesterday. It is truly unbelievable. I can only thank God. 

But then again after consultation, I feel kinda crap.inferior. I mean I don't know how the others fared during typo consultation but I feel like I'm probably one of the poorest students in type class- permanently struggling and always needing hell load of guidance. Weak basically. Makes me wonder how I can go out and face the world and survive after I graduate because I really suck. 

But of course I'm not going to wallow in this eternal state of self despair. I will work harder then. Harder.

Let's go ky.  

There's no giving up. 

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

 - Ira Glass

Thank you Ira. I will fight fight fight. 

Had our last lesson with Hans yesterday. But definitely not the last I'll see of him - HEHEHEHE I like him alotttttt. 

It's the last lesson for magic of voice ! Here's our group with miss Leona. 

Got asked along with Nadia and Merissa and others to join some performance with Leona - quite an honour.

Choir exam and performance tomorrow ! Not that I don't like singing. BUT LIBERATION MEANS I CAN EAT ANYTHING I LIKEEEE. 

Thank you friends for the welfare gifts haha. 

Thank you tangy for sweetly popping by just to drop pigs at my doorstep. 

Thank you robin for the welfare pack just because I seemed kinda down yesterday. I've finally made another friend rather than just another acquaintance in school- and also I know it's not because of any other motives because he's happily attached so I'm actually really happy haha. Today was a good day I say. 

Hell week

 

   

I had a great weekend. 

Photos half unedited just because hell week is here and I haven't got the time. Yelp. 

So hell week begins and I'm already waist deep close to drowning. Lord help me I'm helpless. 

And to everyone who ever reads my blog I apologize in advance and currently for not responding to your whatsapp or text messages or snapchat or whatever other social media interaction because I really don't have the time. I'll be back in about hopefully a week or maybe two weeks. Pray for me. Thank you. 

Save me save me save me. 

Spring

Hooray it's a beautiful day.

I was shocked today when I walked out of adm to grab myself some food. The usually green field was now pink and littered with fallen flowers. I didn't even know those trees had flowers(!!!!) 

So apparently this has been an ongoing phenomenon around Singapore, after what could be considered a drought

 (where it didn't rain, the wind was cold, and the usually humidity of Singapore that would drive us crazy disappeared). Flowers everywhere has been blooming as if we are in japan and it's the Sakura from the cherry blossom trees. I had seen pictures of it everywhere, but I hadn't actually seen it in real life and seeing it today was just amazing. 

So anyway I'm so tired right now after singing my heart out for literally almost the entire day, ( choir quartet practice as well as magic of voice presentation) my lungs are ready to collapse. Despite all that, i honestly think today has been a great day. 

Turns out my magic of voice prof is super super pleased with my performance today. I'm glad. Messed up a little but she only had praise. It can only be God and his grace because I prayed before I went up to perform. I prayed for strength and I prayed that I wouldn't be so scared because honestly I was freaking out at that point. This semester has been one of new experiences, it's the first time Ive ever played guitar on my own in front of an audience instead of usually having a guitarist, and it's also the first time I've actually performed on my own- I've performed so many times I don't even remember how many, but I've always had a band with me. But for this entire mod I was scarily entirely alone. Stage presence has always been an issue for me hahaha still working on it. Glad I took this mod this semester (: proud of me *pats myself on the back* 

Also, classes with Angeline this semester have been nothing but classes of grace. I'm honestly starting to like her more than I did last semester and I was one hour terribly diddly doo late for her class today because the earlier back to back class dragged half an hour and I walked to lee wee nam to print my work before crit in class. But she didn't say anything. And also, much to my relief, she pushed the deadlines back by one week. (THANK YOU GOD) because I was like freaking out a day earlier when I was considering everything I had on my plate. 

Ended the day practicing with the quartets because our exam is next week. It's frustrating sometimes because jj who is pretty new to this gets his parts wrong most of the time but we've worked really hard to practice, we've started earlier than everyone else. I know God will come through for us somehow. I really really praise The Lord that I have a quartet mate like robin, who has an awesome voice, and was a student conductor. He's really helped our group. And I think the members in our group gel really well together. It isn't awkward or anything. 

Grabbed dinner with robin afterwards, which is actually quite nice. Finally finding friends in uni again who take effort in the friendship more than just keeping it as a module thing. Robin reminds me a hell lot of Lucas haha - my secondary school senior/my kor. Mannerisms and the way he speaks I guess.

I think I'm too tired so I just diaherraed all my irrelevant thoughts onto this blog post so forgive me for my granny story. 

Gon crash nowwwwww~

I feel like dying.

1. I'm stressed. 

2. When I'm stressed I have this whole string of cravings for junk food. 

3. I have to sing so no junk food. 

4. Kill me. 

5. Lol 

Dark playground

Met up with the home girl at a nice chill cafe near our houses. 

So today like literally just right now, after getting home from work- I got lectured by the mom again because of oversleeping/ falling asleep at night with the lights on and what not which she probably didn't know but SOMEBODY. Whom I won't mention. Told on me along with a lot of other misunderstood stuff which annoyed me but I decided not to argue with the parent. Well so I think falling asleep happens a lot especially now because I find myself in the dark playground where my brain actually wants to do work? But my body is too tired and I don't want to sleep yet because it's the most productive and creative time to do work and if I sleep it off like ignorant people always easily exclaim : "just do it tomorrow!" Then those ideas/ train of thought will be lost. Sure I "noted" my idea down .. Sketched it even. But when I look at it the next day it's a flat piece of thing with no thought and juice behind it rendering it useless. Thus I'm often caught inbetween this too tired to move but I want to do work idea. Leading to me giving myself the "hey maybe I should lie down for a minute to get a little energy back even though this is a bad idea idea." Annnnd then no prizes for what happens next - yes I fall asleep. 

So to sum it up. Mom killed my entire happy day mood which sucks- now I just want hide in my room and not talk to anyone. 

Also I have issues waking up. Like huge issues- ever since I was little actually. And I don't know how to help myself. So comment ! Or something if you ever have like legit good waking up ideas. Don't tell me to set alarms because most of the time I don't hear them or I hear them but then I can't get out of bed. I need to live overseas man. 

It's the point of the semester where I feel like I had enough of this school shit once again. I know I sound ungrateful because I'm extremely blessed to have the opportunity to go to school but I share this love hate relationship with school.  WHYWHYWHY must there be other things to study other than our cores.. I don't understand because one sem is too short a period to learn anything so what's the point of forcing me to take some random ass elective for the sake of your stupid idea of "all rounded learning" when it ends up to become "no rounded learning" because I learnt nothing and instead wasted a lot of precious time.

URGHH