Self doubt.

Choir mod is officially over !!!! 

Gonna miss my quartet a lot. Screwed up quite abit here and there, but we worked really really hard for this. So I'm just really leaving it to God. 

So I skipped Angeline's class yesterday because I had nothing at all to show her for consultation and I asked to see her today instead. As I have mentioned over this semester, she has been very very very gracious. Even about my unexplained absence yesterday. It is truly unbelievable. I can only thank God. 

But then again after consultation, I feel kinda crap.inferior. I mean I don't know how the others fared during typo consultation but I feel like I'm probably one of the poorest students in type class- permanently struggling and always needing hell load of guidance. Weak basically. Makes me wonder how I can go out and face the world and survive after I graduate because I really suck. 

But of course I'm not going to wallow in this eternal state of self despair. I will work harder then. Harder.

Let's go ky.  

There's no giving up. 

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

 - Ira Glass

Thank you Ira. I will fight fight fight.